Personal 16 Feb 2008 11:22 am
The only thing one can depend on is change
I haven’t been blogging here much these days. Partially because I’ve been working really hard technology projects, like my consulting practice, and being Coordinator of the Nonprofit Open Source Initiative (NOSI). Partially because I’m blogging a lot on my technology blog.
Most of the reason that I haven’t been blogging much is that I’m at a loss as to what to say. Not because I don’t have opinions or thoughts on a wide variety of topics. It’s because so much in my life has changed in the last few months, and in the last 3 years, that I think it will take me a while to catch up.
You’ve heard a fair bit over the last year or so about my significant other, Ruth. She came across this quote, which I think is a great description of who we are to each other:
With a kindred spirit we meet our twin flame on a level that has no drama, chaos or karma. We connect to a kindred spirit without needs, wants or expectations. With them we can experience unconditional love in its truest form, where we can be who we are and accept them in the same way. We don’t have to heal or change anyone. We can allow the relationship to be what it is without fear of what happens if it ends, without wrapping our emotional or psychological identity into it and truly experiencing it in the present moment, without connecting to the past. — Jennifer Hoffman
Ruth is, without a doubt, my kindred spirit. And she is, at this moment, making a new life for herself back in the East Bay, in California, while I make a life for myself here, in New England. She left on Wednesday. It would be, of course a massive oversimplification to say that I don’t wrap any of my “emotional or psychological identity” into our relationship. But underneath the sadness that accompanies the loss of an attachment to an ideal, rather than reality, is the certainty that we both are doing what is right for us, and we will, in the most important senses, always be together.
Today, I feel like I have a bit of whiplash. So much has changed over the past 3 years. None of it was really expected, or part of any “plan.” So I need time to rest, be quiet, catch my breath, and move into the next phase of my life.
And, if you know anyone who wants to share a wonderful house in Shelburne Falls, have them give me a shout.