Personal 20 Jun 2007 08:02 pm
Clarity, and prayers not answered
Life is so interesting sometimes. I had an interesting weekend in the realm of directions my life could have, or might have taken. First, I found out that the Center for Contemplative Mind, an organization I have admired from close up, and from afar for years, is searching for a new ED. It’s a great organization that does fantastic work in the world. I had a moment (well, no, I had about an hour) of angst. Maybe this was really the job I wanted. I looked at the job description, thought about what I was doing, and what I’d have to give up, and realized, with real clarity, that I was doing right now exactly what I wanted to do. I like the work I do, I have amazing freedom. I just took off a week to write in May, and I’ll be taking off another week to write in July - and I expect to do that with some regularity. And Ruth and I are likely going to spend a month in Latin America in December - these are things I could not do if I had a real job. and, I like doing the work I do. I’ve been doing work directly with organizations, and not with code and databases, which has been fun, and a relief. I’ve been doing more and more technical writing, which I enjoy. It has it’s downsides, of course. Self-employment tax, footing my own health insurance bill, not always knowing when that next client is going to arrive.
The second interesting part of the weekend was to find out that the person who got the job I didn’t get (I won’t name the org here, go look it up in the archives if you’re really curious) got laid off recently, just a couple of months after they got hired. Now, of course, I don’t know the whole story - but it makes me happy that I didn’t get that job after all. That would have been such a disaster. It makes me feel that somehow, I’m being looked after. Not that I believe in that sort of God that actually pays attention and mucks around in my life - no. But that somehow life’s twists and turns, even though they are hard to trust close up, smooth out from further away.